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《婚姻》是这组诗里最新的一首,1978年写于爱荷华市一套两居室的公寓里。那时我妻子和我已经分居了几个月,但我们基于试试的心理又住到了一起,最后的结果是,只住了很短的一段时间。不过我们总之又做了一次努力,看我们的婚姻是否能复合。我们的两个孩子都已经长大,住在加州的什么地方,都非常自立。但我仍然为他们担心。也为自己,为我妻子,为我们差不多有二十个年头的婚姻。为这婚姻,我们都还在做最后的努力。我带着种种忧虑活着。晚上我写了这首诗,当时我在一间屋里,我妻子在另一间。我正经历的恐惧找到了释放的途径。

 

和解没有成功,但那是另一个故事了。

 

*选自《需要时,就给我电话》(于晓丹,廖世奇 译)

 

附:

 

婚姻

 

雷蒙德·卡佛
       孙仲旭 译


我们在我们的小木屋吃裹了面包屑炸的牡蛎和薯条,
柠檬味饼干当甜点,公共电视台上,
基蒂和列文*的婚礼开始了。
住在小山上那辆拖车式房屋里的男的,我们的邻居,
刚刚又从监狱里放出来。
今天早上他和他老婆开着一辆黄色大型小汽车
来到院子里,收音机开得震天响。
他停车后他老婆关了收音机,
然后一起一言不发地
慢慢走向他们的拖车式房屋。
那是一大早时候,鸟儿出巢了。
后来,他用把一把椅子
挡着门不让关上,让春天的空气和光线进来。
这是复活节的星期天晚上,
基蒂和列文终于结婚了。
那场婚姻和它触及的那么多人的生活,
足以让人流下眼泪。我们继续
吃牡蛎,看电视,
评论那些漂亮的衣服和故事牵涉到的那些人
惊人的优雅,有些人精神紧张,
因为私情的压力,
和爱着的人分离,还有他们必定知道
就在下次有了无情变故时接踵而至的毁灭,然后
    是下一次。
        
有条狗叫起来,我起身去看看门。
窗帘后面是好多辆拖车房屋及一块
停了小汽车的泥泞停车场。我眼看着
月亮滑向西方,它武装到牙齿,在搜寻
我的孩子们。我的邻居,
现在他灌饱了酒,发动了他的大型小汽车,轰着
油门,又开出去,满怀
信心。收音机呜里哇啦
盖过了什么声音。他走后,
只留下银色水的小水坑,
抖晃着,不明白自己为何在那儿。
*指列夫·托尔斯泰所著长篇小说《安娜·卡列尼娜》中的两个人物。
Marriage
  
  Raymond Carver
  
  In our cabin we eat breaded oysters and fries
  with lemon cookies for dessert, as the marriage
  of Kitty and Levin unfolds on Public TV.
  The man in the trailer up the hill, our neighbor,
  has just gotten out of jail again.
  This morning he drove into the yard with his wife
  in a big yellow car, radio blaring.
  His wife turned off the radio while he parked,
  and together they walked slowly
  to their trailer without saying anything.
  It was early morning, birds were out.
  Later, he propped open the door
  with a chair to let in spring air and light.
  
  It's Easter Sunday night,
  and Kitty and Levin are married at last.
  It's enough to bring tears to the eyes, that marriage
  and all the lives it touched. We go on
  eating oysters, watching television,
  remarking on the fine clothes and amazing grace
  of the people caught up in this story, some of them
  straining under the pressures of adultery,
  separation from loved ones, and the destruction
  they must know lies in store just after
  the next cruel turn of circumstance, and then the
   next
  
  A dog barks. I get up to check the door.
  Behind the curtains are trailers and a muddy
  parking area with cars. The moon sails west
  as I watch, armed to the teeth, hunting
  for my children. My neighbor,
  liquored up now, starts his big car, races
  the engine, and heads out again, filled
  with confidence. The radio wails,
  beats something out. When he has gone
  there are only the little ponds of silver water
  that shiver and can't understand their being here.

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